Fiction by C. S. Pacat
heroes, antiheroes, politics and plots
Captive Prince - prologue 
23rd-May-2008 11:48 pm
Title: Captive Prince
Chapter: Prologue
Book 1: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
Book 2: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
Warnings: Adult content, further detail
Summary: Damen is a warrior hero to his people, and the rightful heir to the throne of Akielos, but when his half brother seizes power, Damen is captured, stripped of his identity, and sent to serve the prince of an enemy nation as a pleasure slave.

Purchase: Purchase Captive Prince as a paperback or with exclusive extra content in the ebook edition. Click here for full details.


"We hear that your Prince," said Lady Jokaste, "keeps his own harem. These slaves will please any traditionalist, but I have asked Adrastus to prepare something special in addition, a personal gift for your Prince from the King. A gem in the rough, as it were."

Well, this is where everything started! 23rd May 2008 I posted the very first chapter of Captive Prince! I was a student studying science (geology) and arts (psychology) at the University of Melbourne in Australia. I wanted to be a writer, but I hadn't given myself permission to - I'm not sure how to put this - to take myself seriously as a writer yet. I would never tell anyone "I'm a writer", although I was always writing.

I thought of Captive Prince as something that I would write for fun, as practice, as a way of learning. I never dreamed that it could be commercially published. Luckily, because I wasn't thinking about commercial publication, I was incredibly free to write - whatever I wanted.

A few things were different in the original version. “Vere” was originally called “Rabat”, and “Jokaste” was called “Margaret”. Guion had no name at all. He was just “the Ambassador”.

I remember when I first posted this – I didn’t tell anyone that I knew online or in person about it. I had never written original fiction before and there was something that felt so exposing about offering up my words for people to read. It exposed my writing in a way it had never been exposed: there was no reason for anyone to read Captive Prince – to generously spend their time reading it - other than that they liked it. It was something about that fact that I felt exposed what I was writing, in the sense of stripping it naked, letting it be seen for what it truly was, and that was terrifying.

I remember that I posted a link to this prologue to an online community that was specifically for free online fiction about slaves. I thought, oh god no one will read it. Then I thought there’s a whole community for the thing I am writing, surely at least one person will read it?!

In fact, people on that community were incredibly generous and encouraging. As you can see, that night I got four comments! I read them over and over (and over and over). It was more than I had ever dreamed possible.

(It's so sad to me that the first ever person to comment on Captive Prince has since deleted their journal and comment!)

continue the virtual tour to chapter one
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(Deleted comment)
24th-May-2008 12:57 am (UTC)
Thanks! I'm so happy you enjoyed it. I've never written original fic before and I am really nervous about it. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the encouragement. :DD
23rd-May-2008 10:45 pm (UTC)
Oh, interesting! I look forward to more.
24th-May-2008 12:59 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm really happy you liked it. :DDD That makes my day!
24th-May-2008 01:26 am (UTC)
This appears to be off to a good start. I look forward to seeing what happens next. Good job. :-)
24th-May-2008 05:08 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it. :D
24th-May-2008 02:29 am (UTC)
Woah. Amazing. I can see this will be very epic. Already, your world has come alive in color and vibrancy. This is no half planned story, and I look forward to seeing it unfold.

I'd give Damen a hug, but I think he'd bit me (or something equally dreadful). I can't wait to read more!
24th-May-2008 06:28 am (UTC)
Thank you! It was really wonderful to read your comment. :DD The story is plotted, but it's my first time to write original fiction, and I'm sooooo nervous about it. Your encouragement is much appreciated! :DD

I'd give Damen a hug, but I think he'd bit me (or something equally dreadful).

Damen won't bite. :DD He's just having a rough day.

25th-May-2008 10:41 am (UTC)
Interesting... so far, I like it a lot. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in the main story.
26th-May-2008 07:17 am (UTC)
Thanks! Yes, the main story is still to come, I hope you'll like it. :) (I think a more experienced writer would not have written a whole set up in one country only to have to jump to another country with a whole other set up . . . but I am such a n00b.) (@_@)
*learning from mistakes*
25th-May-2008 10:58 am (UTC)
oh, very nicely written and it's very intrigueing that the slave character isn't a very feminine one which is most typical in slave stories. nice change for once and it'll be interesting to see where you take it.

one question, where is your story archived? it's hard to keep tabs on a story if there's not a central place to find it... (like your lj or fictionpress etc)
26th-May-2008 10:05 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so happy you're enjoying it. :D And I'm glad you're interested in the slave character -- hope you'll like the owner too, when he makes his appearance. (^_^)v

I'll list all the chapters under an lj tag here (as I write them):
25th-May-2008 11:18 am (UTC)
I have a feeling that I'm going to like this story :D
26th-May-2008 10:07 am (UTC)
Yay! Thanks! I hope you will. :DDD
25th-May-2008 11:26 am (UTC)
really cool story i´m looking forward to the next part
26th-May-2008 10:09 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so happy you liked it. :D
25th-May-2008 12:34 pm (UTC)
Wonderful start. I look forward to more.

Thanks for sharing.
26th-May-2008 10:13 am (UTC)
Yay! You liked it! Thanks so much. :D
25th-May-2008 04:59 pm (UTC)
Fabulous start, looking forward, very much, to more.
26th-May-2008 11:02 am (UTC)
Thanks! I'm so happy you liked it. :DDD
25th-May-2008 05:28 pm (UTC)
I like the beginning. Looking forward to more.
26th-May-2008 11:03 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. :DD
25th-May-2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
Oooh, I love it. Greed, treachery, betrayal -- what's not to love? Eagerly awaiting more!
26th-May-2008 11:12 am (UTC)
Yay! You liked it! Thanks. :DD Yay greed, treachery and betrayal!

*thinks again about this sentence just now*

*decides its fine enough and posts*
26th-May-2008 12:34 am (UTC)
...May I just say that you rock? Wow. This has so much... drama, suspense, life. (As weird as it may be to say that of a story. :P)

I really like it. Now I'm really curious to see what becomes of Damen. *jots down note to follow this fic* :D

26th-May-2008 11:24 am (UTC)
Thank you, what a nice thing to say! :DD I've never posted original fic before so I am. Um. Somewhat nervous! XD It's really great to hear that you're enjoying the story.
26th-May-2008 12:52 am (UTC)
Very nice start--a good choice of trope. You've set your hooks in me, certainly--I'll be looking for more.
26th-May-2008 11:30 am (UTC)
a good choice of trope

Thanks! :DD It's great to hear you liked it.
Yay for "slave prince" = classic genre staple! ;D
26th-May-2008 04:33 am (UTC)
Oh no, oh no please dont stop. I am panting for more. You left me thirsting like crazy here. More more more....

So much excitement in the first chapter already. Can't wait for the continuation.
26th-May-2008 11:50 am (UTC)
Oh! You really liked it! Thank you so much. :DD The story is plotted so -- I guess it's now a matter of writing it. XD
26th-May-2008 07:07 pm (UTC)
*blinks* *opens mouth to say something, closes*

I think everyone else already said everything. Looking forward to more.
29th-May-2008 01:24 pm (UTC)
Yay! You liked it! Thanks. :DDD That makes my day!
28th-May-2008 12:39 am (UTC)
Oooo, this is very interesting! 8D Hope to see more soon! (*pouts* Everyone else beat me to the good comments... *sigh*)
29th-May-2008 01:27 pm (UTC)
Srsly, I'm so happy and kind of amazed to get any comment at all (even if it was, "fix that typo!"). :P I'm really glad you're enjoying it. :DD
28th-May-2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
Plots with political intrigue and betrayal make me feel all warm and squishy inside. This reads a bit like Mary Renault, only less, you know, Greek.

And Damen is so butch he makes ME feel nelly. And I'm a girl. (Most of the time, anyway.) ;D
29th-May-2008 01:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks -- wow, Mary Renault is a favourite author. I love the restraint of her style. (Not sure how restrained I'll be able to be writing slave!fic, though, especially when it starts to get. Um. You know.) ;P

Yeah, Damen's definitely an alpha male. Those guys should get tied up more often. (^_^)v
29th-May-2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's a really good start. There's a vibrancy about your writing that draws the reader in, I look forward to reading more.
1st-Jun-2008 01:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so happy you like it. :DDD I hope you won't be disappointed by the rest!
29th-May-2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
I love your writing style... such beautiful, relevant details, and the pacing is perfect. I can really feel the tension, the want, the motivation of it. I'm rooting for Damen, and it hurts so beautifully to see that he can't win like he wants to. I look forward to reading more. ^.^
1st-Jun-2008 12:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you! What a lovely comment. :DD I'm so happy you like the story. And yay! You liked Damen. That makes me fall over with happy.
30th-May-2008 12:17 pm (UTC)
The blow snapped his head to one side. Damen ran his tongue over the inside of his lip and tasted blood.

"I did not give you permission to speak," said Adrastus.

"You hit like a milk-fed catamite," said Damen.


Sorry to be late on commenting to this, but it's completely awesome. Can't wait for more!
1st-Jun-2008 09:54 am (UTC)


I'm so happy you liked it! I've just peeked at your LJ and seen your stories there, and I'm really looking forward to reading them. :DD (I'm new to writing original stories so . . . very nervous about it!)
2nd-Jun-2008 12:47 am (UTC)
I've been lurking around the edges of this community and I'm putting my toe in to comment. I love your beginning and I am really looking forward to reading more.

Thank you!
2nd-Jun-2008 02:41 am (UTC)
I'm really fall-over happy you liked it. :DD I love your icon. How fleeting indeed! ;D
I'm new to the community too. Hello!
2nd-Jun-2008 09:37 pm (UTC)
Wow! Great beginning! I loved how you started in the present and went back in time so seamlessly. I also love how rebellious Damen is. Quite a nice change from the usual. Is there more of this story locked away in your journal? I'm going to friend you, if you don't mind. I can see I need to have such a talented original slash writer on my watch list. LOL

3rd-Jun-2008 06:08 am (UTC)
Thank you! It's so wonderful to hear you're enjoying it. :D I hadn't read a lot of slavefic before I started on this, so I had no idea I was writing so much against type with Damen.

Is there more of this story locked away in your journal?

I wish there was! The story is plotted, but I still have to write it. XD I've got a lot of world building and character work-up stuff under flock, as well as a plot outline and draft bits of things. Basically all the stuff that I can't bear for anyone but my beta to ever see. Before now I used this journal as a back-and-forth with her -- I honestly didn't expect anyone to be that interested in this story or to friend me as a result of it! I'm really flattered that you would want to do that. I'll friend back if you'd like, as soon as I get around to sweeping the embarrassing stuff under filter.
5th-Jun-2008 12:33 am (UTC) - interesting
I love the idea! it's very cool and I shall continue to look for updates!
5th-Jun-2008 02:24 pm (UTC) - Re: interesting
Thanks! Really glad you liked it. It means a lot to get feedback. :DDD
14th-Jul-2008 11:35 pm (UTC)
Ooh! Highly promising beginning! I was going back through the origslavefic comm when I saw this, and I just hope there is more posted or coming shortly than the two parts I found so far... I like the character Damen's almost arrogant pride and his refusal to believe something like this could happen to him. It'll be an interesting struggle, I think.
15th-Jul-2008 01:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :D I'm answering your comments in reverse order but -- there's only two chapters and a prologue so far (as you, um, know by now!) but the next chapter is on the way. I'd say ETA sometime next week. :D
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